May 12, 2006


[Allegedly] Human


...When I first began opining online my blog was called The Department of Injustice. To a degree it served its purpose, but along the way I found myself focusing on things that weren’t necessarily injustices so much as they were stories about people who can be found in the shallow end of the gene pool—the ones whose parents’ hindsight hopefully includes wishing that they had sought an abortion. It ultimately made me realize that a more appropriate blog title would be Faint Expectations (my apologies to Charles Dickens).
...Sadly we have a few more people to add to the heap of examples.
...Ryan Dawson, 21, and Ronald Arnold, 17, allegedly (I use this term only to protect myself legally; I support the idea of innocent until proven guilty, but considering that this isn’t a common accusation I’ll reiterate that I only use the term “allegedly” for legal reasons) dunked Daisy, the Labrador puppy seen above, in a bowl of vodka and forced it to drink until the dog became unresponsive. The dog’s owner—who himself was accused of giving beer to the puppy on other occasions—took the dog to the home of an off-duty police officer who called for medical services.
...The dog survived after receiving fluids intravenously and adoption offers—hopefully from people who aren’t as subhuman as the puppy’s owner or his friends—have begun to come in. The two guys who [allegedly] almost killed the puppy can get a maximum of three years in prison if found guilty.
...That’s nice, but I’d sooner force them to drink Liquid-Plumr.


Blogger Legally Insane said...


why the hell would they do something so abusive like that only to seek medical help for the puppy? it sounds like some sort of munchausen syndrome by proxy but with puppies...

May 13, 2006  
Blogger J.P. said...

The medical help wasn’t sought by anyone until the owner — whose name wasn’t given anywhere — showed up at the party where the puppy was. Apparently the named assholes were babysitting the puppy. All indications are that Dawson and Arnold were [allegedly] going to let the puppy die after force-feeding it the vodka.

It’s times like these that I give serious consideration to people who say that humans are the dumbest species on the face of the planet. Dawson and Arnold are perfect examples to use to win such an argument.

May 13, 2006  
Blogger Kelly said...

j.p. Nice blog...

you wonder sometimes where people left their is along the lines of stupid criminals.

May 15, 2006  
Blogger amy said...

I agree with you that the punishment should fit the crime. I wonder how they would like to drown in a bath of vodka?

Then again, that might already explain why they are the way they are.

May 15, 2006  
Blogger J.P. said...

Kelly, thanks. I have a feeling that there are a few stupid criminals who wouldn’t be willing to go this far.

Amy, there’s no doubt that you’re onto something there.

May 15, 2006  
Blogger Kelly said...

Here's a good one for you...

Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are

May 15, 2006  

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