Superstar!
Cartoon by Mike Luckovich
...By now, most people have read or heard that DNA evidence has shown that John Mark Karr lied in his confession about killing JonBenet Ramsey. Since the media is more than happy to turn anyone and everyone into celebrities simply to hype worthless stories, I have a confession to make.
...I was the one who killed the famous Bocksten Man, who was found in Bocksten bog outside Varberg in 1936. Seven hundred years ago I inflicted three fatal blows on the poor chap’s head when he wouldn’t hand over his bowl of gruel. He also made reference to having dragged my wench back to his hut the previous weekend after a night of drinking.
...Anyway, I’ll be available for interviews, flights across the globe with caviar and champagne, photo shoots, signature series spears, etc. Just call my agents at Dewey, Cheatum & Howe. I’m going to be famous and the American media will be my trampoline.
5 Comments:
Well I know who killed Jimmy Hoffa and where he's buried. So ... pay attention to me too!! Me too!! (Oh, and since John Mark Karr wanted Johnny Depp to play him in the movie version, I would prefer that Kate Winslet play me in the movie of my life. Thanks.)
So JP, who would play you in your movie?
If I were going to choose an actor to best represent me on the big screen, it would be a toss-up between Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis.
I think the guy was broke and needed a way back home to this country. What a yarn!
I love this post. It's comical and totally true!
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