July 09, 2006

 

War of Words

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...Given our current political climate, I felt that it was necessary to offer what might be best known as “applied definitions” for four words that have become bastardized over the last few years.
...Using my trusty fourth edition of The American Heritage Dictionary, I found the following definitions:
communistn. One who subscribes to an economic system characterized by collective ownership of property and by the organization of labor for common advantage.
fascistn. One who advocates totalitarianism marked by right-wing dictatorship and bellicose nationalism.
open-mindedadj. Receptive to new ideas or to reason.
tolerancen. The capacity for respecting the beliefs or practices of others.

...Now we’ll rework the definitions so that they’re more applicable to 2006 usage.
communistn. One who subscribes to any liberal idea.
fascistn. One who subscribes to any conservative idea.
open-mindedadj. Receptive to those who agree with you on all levels and no one else.
tolerancen. The capacity to accept those who agree with you on all levels and tell those who disagree with you on any level that they’re either a communist or a fascist.

5 Comments:

Blogger a.m. said...

'Bastardized' is a good word for the way this has happened over the last few years. Nicely worded.

July 09, 2006  
Blogger J.P. said...

Thanks.

I wasn’t sure what modern word is used to describe someone who has both conservative and liberal beliefs simultaneously, so if anyone else knows, don’t hesitate to share.

July 10, 2006  
Blogger Legally Insane said...

i am thinking maybe... quixotic?

July 10, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You havre said it best. Again! My father even adores this entry!

July 10, 2006  
Blogger J.P. said...

D.L., quixotic is a possibility, so I have to keep working on my pragmatism.

I’m still toying with the idea of proclaiming myself a full-blown authoritarian. I’ll just call it something catchy, like “friendly fascism.”

Dana, thank you. Your father sounds like an extremely intelligent gentleman!

July 10, 2006  

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